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map of the location of Hans Island

24 April 2006

The people of Hans Island yearn to breathe free! Free from the oppression of Canadian and Danish interlopers!

Well I have to say I am a bit upset right now. More than a bit upset, actually.

My brother was just surfing on the so-called "Inter Web" - which is not easy considering our state of telecommunications, let me tell you - and he discovered a website of people pretending to live on Hans Island!

We got excited for a second there, because there was a picture of a lovely lady in a skimpy bikini. And they said that Hans Island had brothels and booze! But after searching the entire Island very carefully - it took us over an hour - we could find no ladies, no brothels, and only one old half-empty bottle of aqvavit, which we'd lostmisplaced in a game of Hansian Airborne Bowling.

Not only did these pranksters get our hopes up with their pictures of women, but their "funny" site pretending to be from Hans Island will discourage real women from ever coming to visit!!

Help us please!! God, I am so lonely.

Please come visit, and bring your sister. It doesn't matter what she looks like.

Meanwhile, we are going ahead with our campaign to move Santa Claus to Hans Island, so please sign our new petition that we will send to the North Pole. And you can always show your support by signing the guestbook (which we have just updated - you guys are great!).

Yours in solidarity,

Hans & Hans

# posted by hans & hans : 12:42 AM  6 comments  

23 April 2006

check check

is this thing on?

# posted by hans & hans : 8:47 PM  1 comments  

more letters from Hans & Hans

  • April 2006

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contact the Hans Island Liberation Front at info@hansislandliberationfront.com