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map of the location of Hans Island

28 August 2007

Urgent! Action required!

With the North Pole under attack by the Reds, it is more important than ever that Santa Claus relocate to Hans Island. Otherwise the Soviets will take over Christmas gift delivery for the world, filling children's stockings with old copies of Pravda, bottles of vodka, and spare parts for Ladas. Then they will remember that religion is the opiate of the masses and ban Christmas forever!

Friends, we must not let this happen! The Russkie vodka must come directly to us! And as always, we need the company. We hope some of Santa's elves are female. Even if they aren't, just having Mrs Claus around would be nice.

Yours in hope,

Hans & Hans

# posted by hans & hans : 5:34 PM  0 comments  

more letters from Hans & Hans

  • April 2006
  • August 2007

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